Wilson…

The sunny side of anthropogenic global warming

Over the past decade, man made global warming, or AGW, has become our culpable cultural credo. All too often, we only focus on the negative side of this much maligned mallody. But as we all know, every dark cloud has a silver lining. Global warming is no exception. If there wasn’t a humorous angle, I’d have nothing to write about. I’d just be sitting here, waiting for the next ice age prediction like the one we barely survived in the 70’s. So lighten up, its not the end of the world.

For years scientists have wrongfully claimed AGW will cause a rise in hurricanes. A new study in the journal Geophysical Research Letters says warmer temperatures will actually decrease the amount of hurricanes each year. Unless you live under a rock, we all know the 700 Club’s Pat Robertson said hurricanes are caused by homosexuals. So take a deep breath, gays, here’s your upside. Fewer hurricanes equal less homophobic finger pointing.

And we get more summer. That means less men die shoveling snow. Less broken hips, less car crashes on the ice. See, it’s looking better already.